unoriginal blog part nine.

i woke up this morning with a feeling of refreshment.

i spent the entire night dreaming of love, and affection.
and i realized none of the dreams included him.
i also realized i haven't almost called or emailed in weeks.

it hurts, a lot, but i believe i am getting past you.
i dont know why i address all of my blogs to you, when you don't even know they exist.

on the other side of the coin, who else would i address them to? who else would i pine over this long.
its sick. really. i feel i must be sick.
i haven't seen you since the summer of 2006.
its spring (almost) of 2009.
i havent spoken to you in two months.
and here i am, while you are off living your life, forgetting i exist.

at this point, i don't even ever want to be with you again.
who wants to be with someone that just throws them aside?
i guess i just want to hate you.
i want to really hate you. i want to not long for you.
i want to not wish you would call, just to talk.

there are better people in this world for me.
i know that.
i need to know that you know that, too.