unoriginal blog part twenty-one.

things may be looking up, but that may just be the optimist in me.
i have no expectations on where this is going, only high hopes.
i dont want to be wrong, not on this.

there have been a million times i have wanted to tell you this giant secret, but im afraid now it would just hurt. maybe someday i'll tell you.
(but, probably not.)

i am very excited for tomorrow, then june. everything in between is just going to be a long waiting game.
tomorrow, i get to sign my lease, june i get to move.

then september i may start school. (if everything goes well until then, and i figure out the financial part of it.)

i have been writing more, again. but, i dont like it as much as i have liked some of the other things i wrote last year.
or maybe i am just becoming more critical of myself.

(and just in case you ever read this, when you asked me the other night how that would help me more than cough syrup. it did. it always will.)

A recent poem. Just because I think I should start doing this more.

All I can think of
Is how we met
My voice started to quiver,
And my palms to sweat.
Just to think of how much
Life has changed in a year
And during the best times
You were the one near.
Every time you touched me
I could feel myself swoon
Who would think it would end
Who knew it'd be so soon.

The days that I wasted
Not telling you how I felt
I can never get back
And now I'm overcome with regret.
I wish I had told you
Each and every day
How much you mean to me
There are so many things I want to say.

Still when I see you
My heart thinks its a race
It beats so quickly,
I can feel the blood rushing to my face.
My knees start to shake
And I feel myself grow faint.
The only thing that saves me now
Is a leap of faith.

So I take down my layers
Built with years of pride and tears,
Standing naked in front of you,
I've conquered all my fears.
See my life sprawled on the floor.
Meet your eyes with mine,
If just for the chance
To feel our souls bind.

Now, baby, please just tell me this,
Did you feel it, too?