unoriginal blog part twenty-eight.

Every day gives me something new to be happy about. Even the worst days aren't so bad when I look at how bad it could be.
I am so lucky to have the family, and friends that I have found.
I know how naive I must seem, how can someone who has any intelligence be so blissed out in such a crummy time.
I've just learned that I have to deal with things, and that some things are just out of my control, and I just have to make the best of them, and see how I can improve myself, or the lives of those around me, in the process.
And its nice to have people that believe in me, and support me.
You've never once put me down, or discouraged me from a dream.
I would be a fool to not be crazy about you.

And there's my dad, who has stepped up for me more in the past few weeks than I ever thought possible.
The road we've been on hasn't been well paved. And there have been plenty of times I was sure we had hit a dead end. I can never thank him enough.

Its almost my birthday again. I feel like this time last year just happened. And although things are different in every way, March is always my insane month. Where so much changes, and it always ends in the best possible way.
If I get to spend my birthday with you, I don't think it could get any better.

I've also started watching the show "Dead Like Me", and, I'm really liking it.

On a not so good note, I haven't touched my book project in too long. I know what I need to do, and am just, not doing it.
Its stupid.
But, I did send in the registration stuff for school, and have my orientation thinger in June.

Staying positive.

(You're still the creep.)


Here's a couple poems I wrote in December/January:

You've got me on a string

Letting me go,
Just to pull me back in.

It makes it impossible
To move beyond you,
And its looking fairly probable,
That I'm too blind to mind.

Push me out
Pull me back
Baby, this is torture.

If you want to hold me through the night.
Just gain back your composure.

Now I've met some folks
With razor blades
Hidden safely in their coats

They're the type of people
Just itching to cut that rope.

Push me out
Pull me back
Just tell me what you want.

Because every time I think about you
I remember your eyes that haunt me.

And, the next one:

She believes fear is just hate
In a cocktail dress.
She looks in your eyes,
And tells you whats next.
"You look like a fool when you're dressed to impress.
You take what you cant give
And by now you should know
When you're scared of yourself
That's no way to live."
She doesn't know how to hold back her thoughts
And filtering her beliefs
Just leaves her distraught.

She wishes they could see
Exactly what she means.
And that when she gives her heart
The rest of her is left to fall apart.
And when she handed hers to you
Scared to death of what came next
Closed her eyes and turned her head
Cringed for a moment before she said,
"I'll give you this,
If you promise me
That you will always
Be true to me.
Don't be afraid of what we feel
Or life will start
To push us apart.
The distance becomes pain
And pain into hate;
But, baby, we've been brought here
Due to our fate."

The tears in her eyes,
Glistening on her ceek.
How life can change
When two people meet.



I never like my own poems.