unoriginal blog part twenty-six.

I am sitting in my bedroom, on my cracked laptop that is running out of battery, watching RENT, and not really sure of what happens next.
I know where I want life to take me, and I know what I would like to happen next, but, thats not where its headed.
Not right now at least.
Its scary waking up wondering what is going to happen next. Exhilarating to a point, but mainly just terrifying.

This is going to be really lame, but I don't even care. I have a lot I need to say, and I don't even care who sees it. Just thinking about these things isn't enough anymore. I need to get them out, and my notebook just wouldn't cut it. I am allowing myself to be vulnerable right now, and hoping I don't get burned in the end.
On days I know I'll get to see you, time goes slower than I ever thought it could.
When I'm within ten minutes of your exit my stomach is tying itself in knots.
The closer I get to your road, the more my palms sweat, and my heart races.
And then I see you.
And its just this giant inner burst of excitement and complete adoration, and the only thing I can do is smile and sheepishly say hi, because if you knew the emotions I held in, it may scare you away.
After almost a year of being madly in love with you, the feelings still terrify me.
Since the first night we kissed I have known there is no other person I'd rather spend my time with; good times, or bad.
No one else has ever made me feel anything like this.

Wow, I didn't expect that all to come out tonight, or ever, for that matter.

Its been a rough week, but since mid-afternoon yesterday, it appears my luck may be changing to the good side for once.
I hope it continues on the incline. I can't believe how screwed up everything got.
At least I got to see how far some people who genuinely care about me are willing to go, I just hope I can show them all how much I appreciate them.
If you're reading this, you're probably one of the people I appreciate.

Today I got a chance to get to know my oldest brother a little better, and it feels great. Granted it was a bit of small talk at first, I got to see some of the things he was passionate about, and talk to him about them. We only had a few minutes, but it was great.

And, I love my new job, and it seems to be going great. :)
I get along with everyone, and I'm doing well on my sales.

I don't have a poem that I feel like sharing on hand, so I will leave some lyrics that I just heard while writing this.


I found you!
I found you on the way to meet you...