I am great at being an idiot, and just making myself look completely insane, and as insecure as I feel.
I thought by 23 that would have changed, but its only gotten worse.
I'm not exactly sure why I do some of the things I do. I couldn't tell you what drives me to do them, but as I'm doing them, it seems like a good idea.
I just hope my crazy isn't too much.

I really need some self confidence.
But every time I have even the smallest amount, it gets shattered.

I want you to say to me things that you used to. I don't know why you have so much influence over how I feel.



I wish I had more to say except damn my insecurities.

I just want to feel worthy.

my eyes cant look at you any other way

I hate to say
What you've turned me into;
I hate even more
Blaming you.

Because of your eyes,
I have weakened.
Due to your laugh,
I am less crass.

It wouldn't be a stretch to admit
That I was softened by your kiss;
But that's not to say
I was ever hard in the start.

The vulnerability that you have caused me
Is something I'm still afraid to know.

Your smiles lack of doubt
Was all that I needed
To know what I had been without.

One may not say
That I'd die without you
But it still isn't something
I'd like to attempt.

It just took one touch
And I found myself falling;
Yet I'm still unfamiliar
With having this crutch.

There have been quite a few poems I've written since my last post, but I forgot my notebook at your house, and this is going to be difficult enough typing from my phone, since I'm still without internet.
Since I don't have my regular notebook, here is one from right now.

Watch as I get lost
In the hopes I hide
Within your eyes

Scared that I am falling
Too fast for safety
But I can't get off this ride

When you hold me late at night
Nothing will ever feel more right;
I forget we're two people
Leading separate lives.

When I feel your pulse
I believe its mine,
And with our fingers intertwined
Your skin becomes a part of mine.
The smile you give me every morning
Shows me the words you don't say,
And always comes without warning.

I feel lost when you're gone
Like half the person I can be.
But knowing there's another moment
Gives me strength to breathe.

Watch me as I get lost
In my love for you.