unoriginal blog part eight.

this will be completely contradictory from my last blog, but, life does that to you sometimes, doesnt it?

i feel invisble. like i am floating through life, and everything in it.
i feel like i am here for no purpose, and with no motives.
and its sad to say, i feel when i leave, it will make no difference.
im not saying to absolutely everyone, i know my family, and close friends will be hurt, for a period of time. but, even they will get past it, and i will return to being the unknown. the invisible.

my older sister stayed overnight in the hospital about a week or two ago. i found out three days after she got out, by seeing it on her facebook.

really? thats what this has come to. i live 45 minutes away, you have my phone number, and you don't have the decency to let me know my own sister is in the hospital? wow. thanks.

i have lost all inspiration in my writing. i have become numb again.
and i cried over him again yesterday. i hadn't cried in over a week, and yesterday, i broke down, for the third day in a row.
im such a pathetic mess.



im going to a couple concerts, and RENT in april.
its also my birthday in a couple weeks.

i have no enthusiasm at this moment, and i dont know why.


i know i am tired of being around couples, and people in love. i cant stand it right now.
people kissing, and smiling, and holding each other.
really? i dont want to see that. and i think that makes me a bitter hag.